Maybe you’ve heard the rumor that the Department of Homeland Security and the TSA are making lists of dissidents who oppose TSA policy. The rumors come from some pretty fringy sources (Canada Free Press and a survivalist site, Freeze Dried Food). I wouldn’t put this past the DHS, but if there’s any truth to it, they’re at least not very efficient. A few moments ago, I found myself inadvertently in the Rapiscan line at the Columbus airport. I stepped to the side, gave the officer a sunny smile, and walked through the old metal detector as if I belonged there.
So either the DHS isn’t wise to me, or they just can’t be bothered with someone who blogs under the name of a cherry tomato.
The older gent behind me in line took the same path. We’d chatted while waiting and agreed that we opposed the body scanners on principle. I suspect that there’s an awful lot of quiet opposition like his. He would have gone through the scanner if pressed, but he didn’t like it one bit. We had a nice time grousing about taking our shoes off, too.
The TSA did get to me earlier today. I lost my last hour of sleep to a freaky dream where I was first placed inside a chamber that irradiated me, then informed that I couldn’t board because my body temperature was elevated. Oooh, biological warfare – we’ve finally got a defense. Then I snuck into another line, hoping to still pass. There, my iris was measured. At the end of the exam, I got a poof! of air into my eye, just like eye doctors used to use. I recoiled, and was again pronounced “suspicious.” During all of this, my luggage kept fading in and out of sight, until finally my laptop disappeared. I woke up with my heart pounding.
Paranoid, much? And if yes – is it me, or my country, who’s losing it?