Just in time for the holiday season, American capitalist ingenuity offers a stylish solution for the traveler who values privacy and/or modesty. Behold:
Jeff Buske of Rocky Flats Gear is selling protective undies. (Via the New York Daily News.) This is the cute low-rise model, shown in always-fashionable Threat Level Orange. The figleaves are made of a powder-coated metal intended to block backscatter x-rays and terahertz waves, along with background alpha and beta radiation. Less sexy designs feature a larger panty and broader figleaf to shield the ovaries. Bras and bra inserts are available too, as are briefs to protect the dudez’ junk. Some products (not these undies) are evocatively priced at $9.11.
I’m a bit creeped out by the other basic design for women, which features hands that are supposed to protect but frankly look like they’re groping. Personally, I would go with the cute figleaves. Check out the five-pack of the low-rise panty, featuring every color on the DHS threat level rainbow!
I think Stephen Colbert seriously needs to do a segment on these undies. Maybe they protect against bears, too?
I have no idea what would happen if you wore one of these through a naked-body scanner. You’d probably get the grope of your lifetime. Still, I marvel at American inventiveness – yet another reason to give thanks!
Patron cat of Kittywampus (1985-2001)
Sungold, I, too, loved this story when I saw it. American ingenuity indeed. There’s also lead-lined lingerie — I saw the article several months ago, will dig it out and post — but of course, all of these will trigger a grope.
Am trying to think happy thoughts this Thanksgiving — the house smells of wonderful food already, I made the main dish last night, and am about to start on further preparations — but the news is continually depressing. Latest articles I’ve been reading, including info from the CDC, are about the spread of infectious diseases through those latex gloves. If a TSA agent doesn’t change them every time he/she does a grope on a different passenger, then the likelihood of disease transmission skyrockets. This isn’t fear fantasy. This is common sense. It’s medical science. And it’s a matter of public health.
Ringworm. MRSA. Fungal infections. Herpes. Lice. On and on. TSA agents aren’t medical professionals, yet they’re touching people all over their bodies.
Am planning to post this at Cogitamus at some point, but as I say, it’s all kind of overwhelming. And though I know personally several public health professionals, they haven’t addressed this issue and, so far, aren’t interested. They, too, want to bury their heads in the sand and just get to Grandma’s house on time.
Sungold, here’s another one for your files — the 4th Amendment printed on T-shirts in metallic ink:
http://tsaabuse.blogspot.com/2010/11/underwear-with-hidden-messages-for-tsa.html
Oooh, I like! Not sure if it’s fortunate or sad that I can’t get one before I fly on Thursday.