A couple of days ago, Historiann linked to a hilarious quiz, “Dante’s Inferno Test.” It’s definitely a cut above the average Hello Quizzy offering, and I was tickled to see her seriously edumacated commentariat parsing the second circle of hell (for sins of the flesh) versus the third (gluttony!).
In light of yesterday’s post, I can’t even offer a prize for the best guess at where I landed. Y’all know, I’m sure:
The Dante’s Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Level Score Purgatory (Repenting Believers) Very Low Level 1 – Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) Very High Level 2 (Lustful) Very High Level 3 (Gluttonous) Low Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) Very Low Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) Very Low Level 6 – The City of Dis (Heretics) Very High Level 7 (Violent) Low Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) Low Level 9 – Cocytus (Treacherous) Low
Or in other words:
Huh. Sounds like a fun crew, down there in the second circle.
Maybe this is a neurosis left over from grad school, but I can never just take a quiz once. I always have to tinker with it to see how it works (and, um, also to manipulate my results – good thing I didn’t go into the social sciences). Turns out that flipping the answer on the one question that was hard to decide – “Would you sooner go without sex than go without good-tasting food?” – bumped me up into limbo along with the virtuous non-believers. It also ballooned my gluttony score from low to moderate, which sounds about right.
But I’m gonna stick with my original score. I figure if I’m in level two, I can occasionally pop upstairs for good conversation with the virtuous non-believers – and then slide down to visit the gluttons foodies on three, in hopes of creme caramel.
What about you, dear readers? Take the Dante’s Inferno Hell Test and let us know how you did in comments!
Also: The following picture might just knock me down to level six, the heretics. I’m betting it’ll be full of LOLcats and their human minions.
Helter Skelter kitteh from I Can Has Cheezburgers?


Patron cat of Kittywampus (1985-2001)
’twas fun. I got the 8th level… interesting since I don’t consider myself violent, but, still, you’re right, it’s on the funner side of fun in the realm of the quiz.
My impression (from my aforementioned tweaking of the quiz) is that suicidal thoughts and the like count as “violent.” I suppose this made sense in light of the old idea that suicide is a crime.
Ah Crap! I got limbo. We’re all bored to death with each other, the upstairs neighbors are self-riteous, and we can’t get any sleep ’cause Sungold and her friends downstairs spend all their time getting it on. Sigh…
The Dante’s Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell – Limbo!Here is how you matched up against all the levels:LevelScorePurgatory (Repenting Believers)Very LowLevel 1 – Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)HighLevel 2 (Lustful)HighLevel 3 (Gluttonous)ModerateLevel 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Very LowLevel 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)LowLevel 6 – The City of Dis (Heretics)HighLevel 7 (Violent)ModerateLevel 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)ModerateLevel 9 – Cocytus (Treacherous)LowTake the Dante’s Inferno Hell Test
Well, it looks as though you almost landed with the heretics and the lustful, so you still have a chance of more fun if you get to work on it right now!
The problem with the second level is that we’ll be condemned to lust for eternity without having a chance to get it on – otherwise, it wouldn’t be hell, it’d be someplace else entirely!
Great to hear from you, Euchalon. Even if it’s in the context of eternal damnation!
Likewise, Sungold. Perhaps a modern Inferno would include a special circle for lurkers, to which I would most certainly be damned. Anyway, just know that I check in every day (usually between Huffington Post and Jalopnik). Happy springtime…
Actually, limbo is a pretty good spot for lurkers. It’s sort of like being stuck in a moderation queue forever. The only downside is that there will be a plethora of internet trolls joining you. And you do *not* deserve that. I don’t know if you remember Mark Nuckols, who hounded Kittywampus last fall. If not, google “Hufu” and go to the Samantha Bee clip. The guy would be funny if he weren’t such a sanctimonious asshole. Actually, I’m guessing he’d land on level 4, for avarice, so you might be safe from him.
I’m in purgatory. Scored high/very high on purgatory and level 1, moderate on gluttonous and wrathful/gloomy, and either low or very low on everything else.
Gosh, you and Euchalon are both making me look evil! Once you’ve defended your thesis, you need to induge in some sinning. Gluttony would be a good place to start, I’d say.
I’ll look forward to seeing you down with the foodies Sungold.
Yum! Truth be told, I spend a lot more time indulging in food than in any other “vice.” So who knows? Maybe the foodie circle will be my fate.
Off now to fix myself a homemade mocha!