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« Bending Gender Online for Fun, Profit, and Faux Feminism
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If Oral Roberts Was All about PIV …

December 17, 2009 by Sungold

… then why the heck did his folks name him Oral, fer cripesake?

Via Unrepentant Old Hippie, a posthumous glimpse into a side of the preacher man that we never knew:

Here are highlights, again thanks to Unrepentant Old Hippie:

“The vagina. Only one organ made can bring forth life. It’s the male organ. It’s not, in lesbianism, for the tongue of a female goes into the vagina of another female. It’s not in the male, where the male organ goes into the part of the body where the… the waste matter comes out of the body as poison, and he penetrates that part of the body in homosexuality. It’s not to be put in the mouth of the man, or the mouth of the man or the woman…. It is the male organ, penetrating the vagina of the woman, the male and the female.”

But it gets even better when Oral goes off on the ears and nostrils as unnatural sites for penetration. Not sure where he found the nostrils in his Holy Scripture. Maybe he just had some very bad personal experiences with those “orifyces”?

The only possible retort to Oral? Well, I hear it’s Zappadan, so here you go: “Broken Hearts are for Assholes.”

In case the Dutch subtitles aren’t doing much for you, here’s a brief transcription of the, ahem, end:

you’re an asshole. that’s right!
you’re an asshole. yes yes!
don’t fool yoself girl, it’s winking at you.
ram it up your poopshoot!
don’t fool yourself girl, it’s going right up yer poopshoot. ayeyayayayaa

But hey, at least no one is ramming anything up with anyone’s boogershoot. At least that one orifyce is safe.

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Posted in hypocrisy, music, religion, sex, shame, stupidity, weirdness | 5 Comments

5 Responses

  1. on December 18, 2009 at 8:24 am Reg Webb

    Thank you for this astonishing (perhaps I’ve led a sheltered life) insight into “Oral” sex.

    It prompts me to wonder if any research has been done to identify common themes in the kind of fringe extremists our different cultures allow to come to prominence.

    From here in the UK, the ability for individuals to buy TV time in the US would seem quite important in the kind of charismatic preachers ETC who can gain a public if they have the money. Our extremists have to fight their way up from the bottom by pandering to people’s resentments and the prejudices which they generate.

    As usual this is just wooly musing with no academic insight. But I’m curious to know if there are culture specific traits in the kinds of people which the mainstream considers to be weirdos thrown up (like a social emetic) by different cultures.


    • on December 18, 2009 at 10:09 am Reg Webb

      And can you please tell this foreigner what “PIV” stands for?


      • on December 28, 2009 at 4:07 pm Sungold

        Hi Reg! Sorry to be so pokey in replying. The holidays have kept me pretty occupied in the non-virtual world.

        The craziest thing about these “fringe” preachers is that in the U.S., they’re not that fringe-y. Also, they don’t generally have to pay for TV time, as far as I understand. There’s a segment of the public that wants such programming, and so they’re catered to. Of course, if you’ve got as much money as Pat Robertson, you can then have an entire cable channel to yourself for advancing your fundamentalist views.

        I think you in the UK are not nearly as besieged by extremists as we are in the U.S. Certainly our homegrown extremists feed on people’s resentments and prejudices. Such prejudices are just more widespread here, I’m afraid.

        To your most important question: PIV stands for penis-in-vagina. I don’t think it’s necessarily an American term, just one that’s used by people who study sexuality.


  2. on December 20, 2009 at 3:46 pm sugarmag

    Whatever you do, do not stick in the nose!


    • on December 28, 2009 at 4:10 pm Sungold

      I’m still struggling to imagine what in heaven or hell the Reverend had in mind! I mean, seriously, when I think about objects up the nose, I think of that Simpsons episode where Homer is found to have pushed a crayon through his nostril and into his brain …



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