The one semi-redeeming quality in Donald Rumsfeld was his poetic streak. Who can forget this classic?
As we know,
There are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.
We also know
There are known unknowns.
That is to say
We know there are some things
We do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns,
The ones we don’t know
We don’t know.
We’ve heard a lot from Dick Cheney since he crawled out of his bunker and left office, but what has Rumsfeld been doing with himself? Well, based on the deluge of penis email that is swamping me lately, I think he’s found a second career – as a spamwriter.
Consider these little gems, which are taken verbatim from the emails except for deleting the link in the middle of each one; I’ve only arranged them as I think an editor might do for Rumsfeld:
blithe spirit behind ocean
overwhelmingly haunch inside pork chop
around cough syrup
tenor toward photon
abstraction inside related to host
waif behind globule
assimilate for dust bunny
guardian angel inside philosopher
operate a small fruit stand with
beyond abstraction goes to sleep
The fruit stand is a recurring motif, by the way. I suppose it’s significant that it’s a small one.
Some of the subject lines have also been outstanding, if a bit less poetic:
Here’s watching y’all lots of mirths and merriments without too much erotic anesthesia.
And on this Election Day, may we all be spared the poetry of Rumsfeld in our new officeholders.