‘Tis the season for the annual handwringing about Slut-o-ween – the “sexy” costumes that have become de rigeur for women and now, it seems, prepubescent girls, too. Trixie at The American Virgin posted a picture of Miley Cyrus’ nine-year-old sister dressed up as … a dominatrix? Hard to say, but as my own nine-year-old Bear likes to say: “It’s a little inappropriate.”
I don’t really care how bare people want to go, though tonight’s massive street party in Athens will be chilly, and I’m not at all sad to be home writing and filching my kids’ candy, instead. It becomes a problem when “sexy” costumes are virtually mandatory for women, while scantily clad men are both rare and liable to take abuse for it. One of my former students told me her boyfriend was harassed on the street when he wore a half-nekkid costume.
Also, hasn’t it all been done by now? Sexy nurse, sexy schoolgirl, sexy vampire, sexy Minnie Mouse? (Really! And Minnie is on sale, so stock up for next year, gals, before that link goes dead.)
This year, I went trick-or-treating with my kids as “sexy grapes.” I did all the sexed-up costumes one better: I didn’t have just two large, squishy globules on my chest, I had dozens of them! All over me! And people could squeeze them!!
Seriously, what if we decided that costumes didn’t have to be sexy or scary? What if we just had fun with them? Zippa writes that all the fun has gone out of Halloween for her since she grew up, and I get why she’d feel that way. Having kids is one sure way to put the magic back into the holiday (though I wouldn’t advise tossing the birth control for that reason alone). But what if imagination were more important than being sexy? Hmmm … a good imagination is actually sexier than “sexy,” any day, in my book.
Those grapes are a very fine vintage, by the way. I sewed them myself from felt and polyester batting my last year in college. I probably spent more time making that silly grapesuit than on studying for exams that quarter. The grapes sag a bit but they’ve held up pretty well. I guess 1985 was a good year for Merlot.
(Behind me: the tulip and lavender bed, done for the year.)
Patron cat of Kittywampus (1985-2001)
Creative >> trampy for me, too.
BTW, I don’t think your grapes are at all saggy. I’m really glad to see that they are still up for a good Halloween party. I hope they didn’t have to go save Bam Bam this year.
Well, how about creative + trampy? Depending on what I wear under those grapes, it could go either way.
Sadly, you’re not seeing those grapes up close. I did post them mostly for your amusement. But they’re definitely a bit puckered; they’ll turn to raisins or wine soon. They’re main virtue is that they don’t stink of basement, as you’d expect them to after all this time, especially considering that some critter apparently died in the storeroom where they’ve been kept.
By the way, one good thing about starting off more like blueberries than like grapes is that they don’t sag quite as fast.
Oh yes, Bam Bam. The Bear dressed up as a caveman, and I couldn’t help but think of Bam Bam the whole time – and you in your flamingo costume. Do you still have it? And the pink boa? My purple one is *somewhere* but I didn’t even think to dig it out for the holiday.
I do still have the flamingo costume, though it hasn’t been out for a party in many years now. Standing on one leg makes for a nice effect, but makes drinking difficult.
And the pink boa? Definitely – that gets a surprising amount of use! As long as I don’t dip it into my marbiggie…
I think that some 90% of our costume stash is actually just old rally clothes. And the aroma is getting distinctly worse with each passing year. Clearly it’s time for a reunion!
I still have a couple of old rally dresses, too, and I think they’d need to be fumigated, not just washed, before I’d dare to wear them.
I also still have the Rizzo dress somewhere in my basement.
Good to see we’re keeping our priorities straight after all these years.
As for standing on one leg? That might be an handy built-in “last call” signal. If you can’t maintain balance, no more marbiggies for you! Then again, I’m not so hot on one leg even dead sober.
Feedback from NC: This year I went to a party as GothAlice in Wonderland, as opposed to SexyAlice in Wonderland. And I thought it was much more creative. The costume was part traditional (just-above-the-knee powder-blue dress with white apron, homemade, decidedly unsexy) with some Goth elements: pale face and deep black eye makeup, dark nails and lipstick, black fishnets with black-and-white striped knee socks, and my “cool” Unlisted black punk shoes from 1989 (the soles of which both gave up the ghost and fell off flapping before the night was over–I am officially no longer cool). Hubby went as one of the “card guards”–the nonexistent 13 of spades. I was so proud that he dressed up, since he used to hate Halloween costume parties. Now he loves them. You know, because of all the nearly naked women. LOL.
Survey of other costumes: at least three slutty Amy Winehouses (is that redundant? I know little about her), about four sexy nurses (with their requisite dates, e.g. “Dr. Feldersnath, GYN”), one sexy Dorothy, a sexy witch or two. The scantily clad men? Three or four, all gay and ripped to the nines. I thought one, a friend of mine, would lose his pants before the night was over, so precariously were they attached. I always try to come up with something creative because ANYONE can be slutty.