A while back, a bunch of Stanford researchers ran an experiment on some four-year-olds at the university’s childcare center. They put a marshmallow in front of each kid with instructions to not eat it while the experimenter left for 15 minutes. The kids were told they’d get two marshmallows if they didn’t eat the first one. About a third managed to wait. When the researchers checked in with them a decade or so later, the early masters of delayed gratification were doing notably better, socially and academically, than the rest.
I think of myself as a total slacker, but that may be because I’ve spent lots of time with people who would have invested both marshmallows, hoping for a good annual return. My mom likes to tell the story of how she offered the toddler-me a chocolate cookie. “Two!” I said. “No, just one.” And with that I turned my back and stomped off in a snit. So maybe I would have waited for the marshmallow.
Anyway, the idea is that we should cultivate our kids’ ability to delay gratification as a magic formula for success in later life. I utterly failed at this today. I took them to Berlin’s Labyrinth Kindermuseum and plied them with Smarties ice cream treats.
Then I rode around aimlessly on the Strassenbahn (the Berlin tram system) with them. I let them have French fries as their main course for dinner. (Ketchup is still a vegetable, yes?) In lieu of dessert, I bought them each a small stuffed animal. In short, I pandered shamelessly, since their dad is traveling for a couple of days. I think it’s okay to indulge them a little when their routine is disrupted for the worse. Honestly, if I’d had a whole bag of fresh marshmallows, I’d have handed that over to them, too.
I originally heard about the marshmallow experiment on NPR, but TED has a nice précis of it, complete with hilarious footage of kids in Colombia replicating the original experiment. In case you’re impatient, the best part – the kids – starts around 3:30. And no, there’s no prize for not skipping ahead.
Patron cat of Kittywampus (1985-2001)
For what it’s worth, I think indulging kids, especially while they are on vacation, is just fine. The only concern I wold have, really, is how it would effect the kids later. For example some kids are very sensitive to sugar and if they get too much they end up not feeling well. I also think you know your kids best and no one would know better than you how much is too much.
About hte marshmallow thing, I am skeptical that teaching the kids delayed gratification will make them more successful. For one thing, this was just one study and I don’t like to draw too many conclusions based on just one study. What other factors were there? Is delayed gratification something you can teach a young child or is it part of the child’s personality? For the children who did not eat the marshmallow, was a parent actively teaching them the value of waiting? Also maybe some of the kids who did not eat marshmallows did not eat them because they don’t like marshmallows.
I’m lucky in that I know my kids don’t react much to sugar. The Bear is lactose intolerant, and sometimes even with a Lactaid tablet he can get a belly ache after gorging on ice cream.
One obvious question about the original study is how many of the kids were the offspring of professors and grad students? Since it was the on-campus childcare program, I’m pretty sure the kids were overwhelmingly from highly privileged backgrounds. Presumably, the Colombian group – where about 1/3 also waited – would have been from less hyper-educated parents, but maybe not.
The question of “whether you can teach delayed gratification” is a really good one. It might well be hard-wired.
As for some kids not liking marshmallows – I suppose such kids exist, but I’m guessing they aren’t numerous to skew the sample.
Speaking of sweets, we had Mandelhörnchen today. Yum! I’m guessing you’ve had them on previous Germany trips. Just one more thing to look forward to.
Funny I don’t think I have ever eaten a Mandelhoernchen (how do you do umlauts on a computer? I am going to have to figure that out), I had to google it to find out what they are. They look good I will look for them at our neighborhood bakery when I am there. I like plum cake a lot and also the cheesecake there it is different there than here, I think it is made with quark which is like ricotta, where the cheesecake here is made with cream cheese usually. Also I like krapfen, I don’t know if I spelled that right, they are like jelly donuts. And those cookies with red jelly in the middle…mmmm it is probably a good thing that I have to go all the way to Germany to find a Konditerei…
It’s posible that mandelhoernchen might be called something else in your grandma’s neck of the woods. You just gave me a short list of the stuff I want to eat before I leave – especially the cheesecake!
Quark is a weird thing. I think it’s fitting that it’s also a name for a subatomic particle, because it really is a strange substance. It’s sort of in the junction between sour cream, yogurt, and ricotta. I don’t like it plain (even the vanilla flavor) because it always seems gritty to me. Which is a weird thing to say about a dairy product, but there you have it. Anyway, it does make most excellent cheesecake!