So the other day, in an effort to understand my first-born better, I came upon a website dedicated to The Highly Sensitive Person. Both my boys go ballistic if a tag inside their shirt is tickling their neck. But the Bear, in particular, has always been high-strung in certain ways. He never slept as a baby, and he still doesn’t. He got totally freaked out at Chicken Little. While he seems very mature and cool-headed at school, he can still be volatile at home, especially when he’s tuckered out. And tuckered doesn’t even begin to describe his state after long days at Watershed Daycamp this week.
So I took the child’s test on his behalf, and yup, the Bear scored as a definite Highly Sensitive Person. The Tiger came out more borderline, which is true: he’s a good sleeper, and his approach to intensity is much more relaxed than his brother’s. I don’t suppose that this knowledge can help me moderate the Bear’s behavior, but it may help me be more patient and understanding.
If I’m able, that is. While I was at it, I took the adult version of the quiz on my own behalf. (No, not that sort of adult; it’s safe for work.) I scored 20 out of 27, well above the minimum of 14. This explains why I’m so bothered by the cacophony in the elementary school’s cafeteria and gym. It points to why I’m such a shitty multitasker. And it illuminates why when the Bear loses it, I’m apt to lose my cool, too. Heck, I could hardly watch Chicken Little, myself.
I suspect my husband might score on the high end of the scale, too. (Sweetie, are you reading? Yoo hoo?) If so, it’d explain why we do so much better as lovers than as fighters.
I’m curious about how y’all come out, so if you take the quiz, please leave your results in comments! If you end up as neurotic as me, there’s a consolation prize: taking after the “Princess and the Pea” correlates loosely with intelligence. (In my case, I fear, very loosely.)
Daylily, blooming yesterday in my forlorn perennial bed.
Patron cat of Kittywampus (1985-2001)
Interesting.
So I am no expert on social testing, but it seems to me that this test is skewed toward encouraging people to be rated as “sensitive” (which, as it happens, just might encourage testers to buy the book). Most of the questions are worded negatively (“does this bother you?”) rather than a mix of negative and positive (“do you like it when…?”). I suspect that even the most sensitive among us would answer yes to both negative and positive versions of at least a few of these questions.
I also find it interesting that the child’s test included physical sensitivities not included in the adult version.
I scored 14, being fairly liberal with my answers. 10 when I was more conservative. Some of these things (change and loud noises in particular) really bother me. Crowds weren’t included here, but they were – I’d have checked that one twice.
I don’t think this is especially scientific, either. It’s probably a decent general indicator – and as you say, an advertisement for the book. It’s probably as meaningful as the other quizzes that I’ve taken on the Internet, but not necessarily any better than them, either.
At the bottom of the page is a journal reference, which apparently includes the long version of this quiz with a 1 to 7 scale, but I didn’t go there because even if I could get to it through the university, others wouldn’t have access.
It makes sense to me that the kids’ version would focus on physical sensitivities, because they do seem to grow out of some of them. For instance, my little Bear is not as intolerant of noise as he once was; he no longer tries to outscream annoying noises, like church bells or sirens.
Crowds? It depends on the type of crowd, for me. I have trouble with most crowded situations, but Dead shows were always just fine.
I got a 10.
I guess that means that I’m not horribly sensitive. For me, I am sensitive to subtleties in the environment, including people’s feelings, and I’m mildly sensitive to large crowds and noise, especially when it’s a place I can’t leave if I want to. In terms of tasks, though, it’s not a problem. I can usually handle a lot of things at once.
I’m glad I know. That way I can tell people why I get weird in certain situations. HaHa
Jake, it’s a good thing you’re not too sensitive to noise, because your class is the loudest one I ever presided over … well, with the exception of a class in spring 2003, when I was vastly pregnant, the class ran Tuesday/Thursday 5-7, and the students tended to get into bar fights! (I know this because they’d come in with injuries, and when I asked what happened, they’d tell me. One of ‘em was a female, too.)
The list is funny because it’s a mix of good things (e.g., sensitivity to others’ feelings) and things that hamper one’s ability to get around in the world. Looks like you skew toward those positive things.
I got 10 and it told me that whilst I might not be above the 14 required to be highly sensitive if I strongly identified with the ones I did choose I could still be highly sensitive, it’s like a highly sensitive win-win! I’m ok with that, I think I’m generally a calm, easy going person but also very sensitive to peoples moods etc.
Hi Jaime – thanks for stopping by. Usually I answer comments more promptly, but I was getting ready for a trip to Germany, and going a little bit nuts in the process.
You definitely get the win-win – sensitive in all the nice ways, but not quite as neurotic as some of us.
I read the book that goes with that test several years ago and it was very helpful, both in terms of validation and suggestions for working with instead of against my natural sensitivity. I highly recommend reading the text (the test is just a smidgen/thought starter)…you’ll either recognize yourself very clearly or put the book down 1/3 in
Hi Kaija – and thanks for your comment/advice. I just might read the book sometime, though I’d love to be able to physically flip through the pages before buying it. I already found the website useful in showing how my older son and I are pretty similar in this regard. Recognizing this helps me be more mindful and more patient with him, and maybe also more forgiving of myself when I’m in a situation that rubs me the wrong way. The cafeteria at the kids’ elementary school tops my list; I get just totally claustrophobic from the bad air and the noise.
A related concept is Dobrowski’s overexcitabilities, which is basically the theory that these sorts of maladaptive sensitivities are more common in highly gifted people. Dobrowski’s theory helped me realize that my son’s quirks were part and parcel of who he was, including his intelligence, and so I now seem them as a blessing and a curse – not just a curse. Which makes him sound like Monk – but really, no one in my family is quite that quirky.
I scored a 23.
Wahoo! I’m glad to meet you, KParis; you just made me feel so mellow!