Sexting TMI Tuesday

Uff da. Back in my premarital days when I was ethically eligible for a booty call, there was something called the “mobile car phone.” It was anchored to your car with a 500-pound weight. It did not allow for texting. It barely permitted talking. I think if you tried to do anything sexy with it, you’d be crushed under its heft as soon as even one hand left the receiver.

1. Have you ever sent or recieved a sext message?

This would presume that I know how to text. I’m a kick-ass typist, but I require a querty qwerty keyboard.** I realize I just disqualified myself as an authority on my sexting post from a few days ago. I wouldn’t mind receiving a sext message (from someone scrumptious my own age) but I probably couldn’t figure out how to retrieve it. Oh, and my phone battery would surely be run into the ground. I am a walking billboard for landlines, pathetic as that is.

2. Have you ever made or recieved a booty call?

Well, this was back when phones were mostly analog, all attached to a wall jack, and still invariably owned by AT&T. But yeah. I’d just broken up with my college boyfriend and didn’t foresee getting back together again. If I’d just waited a few days, my luck would’ve changed again. Luckily for me, I didn’t wait, and I got to know the soccer legs of a workmate up closer than I’d ever hoped. (He would be worth a post or two of his own.)

3. Have you ever added or edited a word/entry to Wikipedia or Urban Dictionary or any other online reference?

I haven’t added anything, but last I checked “Kittywampus” on Google, the only entry leading this blog was, in fact, Urban Dictionary.

4. At what age did you have your first consensual sexual experience?

Define sexual?

Okay, so there’s not much point in nit-picking. I was a young-ish college freshman, and it all happened – everything from glorious oral sex to PIV coupling – the summer after freshman year, in the few months before I turned 19. I was so intent on moving beyond virginity, I wasn’t terribly concerned with definitions.

5. What has been the greatest age difference between you and a consensual sexual partner?

Why, that would have to be my husband and long-term mate. He’s six years older almost exactly. (I once had a not-quite-consensual experience with someone who might be a bit older yet, but that’s a whole ‘nother story, not light enough for TMI any day of the week.)

Bonus (as in optional): Why do you blog?

Umm, to embarrass myself in front of my ex-students who read this? To confirm my college friends’ worst opinion of me? Actually, I think I do it to play with ideas that are otherwise outside the bounds of stodgy academic discourse. Why do I play TMI? Because I’m plum out of ideas for the moment – and the questions (or at least my answers) aren’t so dreadfully shocking for my aforementioned students.

** Update: Seems I overestimate my typing skills! Well, let’s just says I type faster than I think, and here’s your evidence (if the rest of this blog didn’t already prove it).