I found this quiz via Sally at Jump off the Bridge (who scored even lower than I – should I be ashamed of myself?). I can’t vouch for its authenticity but the gist of it definitely hits the right tone. (Guys, you don’t get off scot-free. There’s a version for husbands, too.)
As a 1930s wife, I am
Here are a few of my many failings as a 1930s Hausfrau:
- Doesn’t want to get up to prepare breakfast. (But does it anyway, churlishly, which I think docked me another point, too, along with not being properly dressed for the occasion.)
- Eats onions, radishes, or garlic before a date or going to bed. (C’mon! Onion and garlic are two basic food groups.)
- Fails to sew on buttons or darn socks regularly. (I do the occasional button. But – darn it! – that’s all.)
- Gives husband shampoo or manicure. (No, but come to think of it, the shampoo idea could be fun …)
- Neat housekeeper–tidy and clean. (I do just enough to keep the health department at bay.)
- Puts her cold feet on husband at night to warm them. (Who else am I supposed to warm them on?)
- Saves punishment of children for father at night. (I’m not quite sure what the right answer is here … but I think the 1930s housewife was supposed to defer to the father’s authority. My kids would’ve long forgotten their offense by then.)
- Squeezes tooth paste at the top. (And wouldn’t want to marry anyone anal enough to call that a dealbreaker.)
- Tells risque or vulgar stories. (Worse yet, occasionally posts them on the Internet.)
- Wears red nail polish. (On my toenails, which must count as doubly improper.)
I’m pretty sure I got good wifey points for these:
- Can play a musical instrument, as piano, violin, etc. (I love my piano.)
- Good seamstress–can make her own clothes or the children’s clothes. (Not that I have, lately, but in theory I could. I also have been working on curtains for the kids’ rooms for about the past two year and plan to finish them just in time for the kids to hit puberty.)
- Reacts with pleasure and delight to marital congress. (Delight is a nice word for it. But! I suspect that too much delight might collide with the “feminine” and “dainty” standard.)
- Seams in hose often crooked. (I don’t wear hose, ergo I couldn’t fall down on this score.)
Mostly, the bar is set pretty low for the gentlemen (though apparently onion and garlic are equal-opportunity failings):
- A chronic ailer or patent medicine addict.
- Angry if newspaper is disarranged.
- Belches without apology or blows nose at table.
- Leaves car for wife on days she may need it.
And then there are a few lovely holdovers from the 1920s invention of mutual marital pleasure:
- Ardent lover–sees that wife has orgasm in marital congress.
- Gives wife real movie kisses not dutiful “peck” on the cheek.
- Has date with wife at least once per week.
If you take the quiz, do share your score in comments (or link back to your blog)!