I’m in the midst of grading a large stack of student essays, 80 of them, each analyzing an advertisement of the student’s choice. While on the whole they’re mercifully intelligent and interesting, they’re bumping me up against some occupational hazards.
1) I stink. Currently the dominant scent is Calvin Klein’s Euphoria, but I’m sure the top and bottom notes will become more complex as I page through more perfume ads (they’re stapled to the papers) and pick up that weird mix of cologne and eau de colored ink.
2) I had to google the term “lipstick party” to see if it’s the same as a “rainbow party.” In case you were wondering too, the answer is yes. If you’re wondering what a rainbow party might be, well, I’ve kindly done the work for you (but don’t follow the link if you have delicate sexual sensibilities or are prone to moral panic). The ad that prompted this high-brow research is from Cointreau’s Be Controversial series. (Warning: Cointreau’s site is based on Flash-for-beginning-readers; it’s excruciatingly slow. The ad here gives you the flavor of it, so to speak.)
3) I learned from this ad that I had my babies a few years too soon.
4) I’m immune to ads after all this analysis. That’s why I’m off to the kitchen to mix me a nice, cold cocktail.